Well that's all of them. Please leave comments. I have some more stuff to write up and want to continue to blog my adventures. Also some of the previous posts are pretty rough. I plan on working on them some and definitely adding pictures to them as well.
It is now 2:30am and I have to wire my cpu and write a fortran program both due today. Then I have a ton of work to do still on my research project and still have to finish up my business plan. Not to mention I should go to work tomorrow. It is time for the final push. Sleep is for the weak.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Super Hippies
Yeah they were supper-hippies. Heh named Crash and Yeti bear. Crash
has been on the road for 25 years, the guy hasn't had an ID for the
last 15. Yeti is his girlfriend who goes to school in boulder and
travels with Crash in the summer. Those guys are crazy. They picked
me up in Billings and we had made it to about Livingston you know 2
hrs west. They saw a sign for Yellowstone and mentioned they had
never been there. I told them how cool it was and about the boiling
river. You know just making conversation. That led to a 2 hr drive
south to the park.
has been on the road for 25 years, the guy hasn't had an ID for the
last 15. Yeti is his girlfriend who goes to school in boulder and
travels with Crash in the summer. Those guys are crazy. They picked
me up in Billings and we had made it to about Livingston you know 2
hrs west. They saw a sign for Yellowstone and mentioned they had
never been there. I told them how cool it was and about the boiling
river. You know just making conversation. That led to a 2 hr drive
south to the park.
What a crazy adventure. The boiling river was closed so those guys
played music and I got in anyway. We ended up going back into
Livingson so they could try and make some money playing music. There
we met the next guy in the story sitting outside of the bar. He is a
musician and works in the park. He made the offer to put us up for
the night. So after some pool, more beer, jack and cokes we went to
this musicians house to drink some homemade crabapple wine and they
all played music. In the morning I thought we would finally get to
Missoula. But an offer was made to go into town to record some music
with some guy with equipment.
Now I thought that meant a couple of hours. But the recording process
happens to be very involved. They sang and recorded then did it again
and again until it was perfect then did it again for a collection of
instruments. I ended up getting bored and going to a coffee shop to
get some work done on Rocky's web site.When I got back I finally
convinced them that I needed to get up to Missoula.
We drove through the night. I had Laura pick me up at the gas station
in Missoula so she could drive me another 45 min north to her house.
I would have had the super hippies take me but I wasn't sure if they
were welcome at her house. Ended up staying at Laura's place for a
few days, build fence for someone they knew, and then hitchhiked back
to Billings. More on that part of the epic adventure later.
Spring Break 06 pt 8
2006_04_06 9:25am 17th street station
It has been about a month since the spring break trip so it is hard
to pick up the story where I left off. The good thing is there isn't
much more to the story. After the craziness of Arches we camped at a
campground along potash road, where we had our first real wood fire
all week. The next day we went into town to figure out what to do and
to buy shirts. I decided it would be cool to make our own red dirt
shirts so we all got white tee shirts. From there Bre and Luck went
to canyon lands Nat. park, dropping Laura and I off at "wall street"
on potash road to climb.
It has been about a month since the spring break trip so it is hard
to pick up the story where I left off. The good thing is there isn't
much more to the story. After the craziness of Arches we camped at a
campground along potash road, where we had our first real wood fire
all week. The next day we went into town to figure out what to do and
to buy shirts. I decided it would be cool to make our own red dirt
shirts so we all got white tee shirts. From there Bre and Luck went
to canyon lands Nat. park, dropping Laura and I off at "wall street"
on potash road to climb.
We attempted some sport routes and got shut down. Se we walked along
the road and ran into some other climbers with trad gear. After
visiting with them and their little kid (who was a cool little kid
with an imaginary dog) one of them ran a rope up a route for us. This
gave us a taste of real Utah crack climbing. As soon as Laura was
done cleaning the gear a storm came in and we were stuck without a
car. The climbers gave us a ride to the campground and we hid in the
restroom there until Luke and Bre came back.
While we were there we saw the effect of rain in the dessert.
Waterfalls appeared in a number of places along the cliff all bright
red with the dirt they were pushing off the cliff. When Bre and Luke
came back we made our red dirt shirts under one of these waterfalls.
To make sure the shirts would be permanently dyed we found a 5 gal
bucket in someones garbage and filled it with dirt before we left.
After that we went back to meeker, stayed the night, then to RS did
some gym climbing, stayed the night, and went back to Billings. Later
the next week we used that 5 gallon bucket of red dirt that rode with
us all the way back to Billings to make a horrendous mess in Laura's
tub at widenhouse and redye our shirts
Trip Stats:
Traveled approx: 1,957 mi
Of that Hitchhiked; 400 mi
Cost: approx $188.35
Spring Break 06 pt7
2006_03_15 10:00 Am Billings
We got our showers and visited a bit w/ the tired Troyer group and then found a hotel with wireless to check the weather. After extensive weather browsing it was decided that the best weather we were going to get was in Moab. So we drove to Arches National Park still edgy, getting on each others nerves, feeling cranky, and tired. We decided to hike to delicate arch. The sun came out while we were walking. Bre and I had a geek out about physics, chemistry, music, and drugs causing Laura to run ahead. The sun made the desert come alive. Colors stood out bright. Amazing neon like greens, oranges, blues, and reds. The smell of the air completed the experience. This is what we needed and we all suddenly relaxed and became care free vacationing college kids again.
We got our showers and visited a bit w/ the tired Troyer group and then found a hotel with wireless to check the weather. After extensive weather browsing it was decided that the best weather we were going to get was in Moab. So we drove to Arches National Park still edgy, getting on each others nerves, feeling cranky, and tired. We decided to hike to delicate arch. The sun came out while we were walking. Bre and I had a geek out about physics, chemistry, music, and drugs causing Laura to run ahead. The sun made the desert come alive. Colors stood out bright. Amazing neon like greens, oranges, blues, and reds. The smell of the air completed the experience. This is what we needed and we all suddenly relaxed and became care free vacationing college kids again.
Spring Break 06 pt6
2006_03_12 9:02 Am currently in Billings
We all went nuts. Laura and I crossed the creek and started climbing the gigantic rock on the other side. At this point the snow wasn't coming down hard and was mostly rain. As we progressed upward however we noticed our feet weren't sticking near as well to the rock but I was determined to get to the top and somehow scrambled/climbed some sketchy parts of this gigantic rock. We were closing in on the top when we finally came to the realization that this wasn't a good idea and the snow was really coming down. Now thoughts of how we could possibly get down were running though our
heads and damn it was cold. It was a scary process inching our way down the icy rock and at some points we hat to just let go and slide/fall till our feet could catch us again, but we made it only to have to tromp through more snow and cross the creek again. Freezing we rounded up Luke and Bre. We all were soaked, cold, and on top of it all the gear was wet as well. This was not the plan.
We decided the best thing to do was to eat a hot breakfast and find out what the weather was going to do. Luke wanted Denny's but some of the rest of us wanted something small and local. But being in the back Laura and I could not see out of the windows well. We tried to make
suggestions only to see them passed by as Luke refused to turn. Frustrated, cold, and wet we finally made it to a cafe and filled our stomachs. We looked like a bunch of drowned hobos, dirty, stinky and dressed strangely (I only had my thermals on) The waitress told us the weather was supposed to continue like this all week. Alternative plans were being discussed. As we left the diner the options were Grand Junction, Denver, Meeker, and Rock Springs. At this point I checked my voice mail and realized Troyer's group was in town and that we could go say hi, get warm, and possibly get a shower.
As I mention we were insane at this point, the favorite saying had become "your a ____". Also there was a mood of general edginess and a sort of crabbiness plus we were disappointed in the weather.
We all went nuts. Laura and I crossed the creek and started climbing the gigantic rock on the other side. At this point the snow wasn't coming down hard and was mostly rain. As we progressed upward however we noticed our feet weren't sticking near as well to the rock but I was determined to get to the top and somehow scrambled/climbed some sketchy parts of this gigantic rock. We were closing in on the top when we finally came to the realization that this wasn't a good idea and the snow was really coming down. Now thoughts of how we could possibly get down were running though our
heads and damn it was cold. It was a scary process inching our way down the icy rock and at some points we hat to just let go and slide/fall till our feet could catch us again, but we made it only to have to tromp through more snow and cross the creek again. Freezing we rounded up Luke and Bre. We all were soaked, cold, and on top of it all the gear was wet as well. This was not the plan.
We decided the best thing to do was to eat a hot breakfast and find out what the weather was going to do. Luke wanted Denny's but some of the rest of us wanted something small and local. But being in the back Laura and I could not see out of the windows well. We tried to make
suggestions only to see them passed by as Luke refused to turn. Frustrated, cold, and wet we finally made it to a cafe and filled our stomachs. We looked like a bunch of drowned hobos, dirty, stinky and dressed strangely (I only had my thermals on) The waitress told us the weather was supposed to continue like this all week. Alternative plans were being discussed. As we left the diner the options were Grand Junction, Denver, Meeker, and Rock Springs. At this point I checked my voice mail and realized Troyer's group was in town and that we could go say hi, get warm, and possibly get a shower.
As I mention we were insane at this point, the favorite saying had become "your a ____". Also there was a mood of general edginess and a sort of crabbiness plus we were disappointed in the weather.
Spring Break 06 pt5
2006_03_09 4:04pm
Currently in Moab, Ut along potash road in a hail
storm turned thunderstorm.
Currently in Moab, Ut along potash road in a hail
storm turned thunderstorm.
The is a lot that has happened since our stay in Meeker. We arrived in Moab Monday afternoon with enough time to explore Fisher tower and the "Rock on" rocks and set up camp in the Fisher Tower camp ground then headed into town. There we stocked up on beans, soup, and ramen to feed us throughout the week and checked out the local outdoor shop to get the beta on the climbing and where Luke could find some petroglyphs. We then proceeded to eat at Feista Mexicana in town. With our stomachs stuffed we headed back to our campsite for the
night. Bright and early in the morning with wonderful weather, Laura and I hiked, scrambled, and climbed through and up the Fisher Tower cliff bands. We went back to camp and was surprised to find that Luke was still sleeping and Bre out exploring the beautiful surroundings by herself. When Luke finally woke up we headed on the actual scenic trail for the towers, earlier we had been poaching the land as we pleased. This trail was supposedly 2.2 mi but seemed much longer. It was a great trail for running, jumping and playing. This was much needed relief and the sun was smiling upon us.
After we had our fun we drove to Big Bend the local bouldering area. The weather was fair but couldn't make up its mind. Some of the climbs were fun, others ridiculously hard. The other climbers were friendly and we used their guide a bit (Utah Bouldering Guide). Having our fill of climbing we left so that arrowhead/petroglyph searching Luke would not get too bored. We went back through town to check our directions at the outdoor shop and to fill up on water. Off again, we drove south to the most disappointing man made lake called Ken's Lake and proceeded past it to see some vandalized Indian scratchings on Flat Pass/ Metal Bender's trail. Reaching a point in the trail that crossed a river we decided the car would not make it so we put up camp for the night (illegally). This camp was complete with a sage brush fire and we
feasted on clam chowder. The sky had been overcast for a while and halfway through the night rain broke out and the temperature dropped. Upon awakening we scurried to pack up all of our soaked gear while Laura had to rescue poor Metolious from the puddle he had rolled himself into. After packing up I half jokingly suggested we not waste the beautiful area and do some exploring first.It actually was not much of a surprise when the others agreed.
Hitch Hiking / Spring Break 06 pt4
3/5/06 2:16 pm Currently in Meeker, Co
The easiest part of the trip should have been from Lander to Rock Springs, a mere two hour drive over the pass. So we finished drinking coffee and hot chocolate and started walking the highway out of Lander towards south pass. The time was about 9:30 am and the traffic was sparse, finally a truck pulled over and it was an older man with a cowboy hat. He works for a mushroom farm in Riverton and said he could only take us a couple of miles because he was heading for his late brothers hose that he was trying to sell. This man told stories of hitchhikers he had picked up and then dropped us off at the Rawlin's Junction.
We continued to walk away from there until a rather strange hick picked us up. He was drinking Bud while driving to his home at Atlantic City. The man was kind but strange. He works on building bridges outside of Worland. He dropped us off at the Atlantic City turnoff at the top of south pass.
From there we had to walk through wind and snow thumbing until finally a SS Monte Carlo pulled off. The driver was a rather eccentric bad ass 90's rocker type girl. She was returning from her parents house in Lander getting her car and some other stuff. The car was full of stuff so Laura sat above the center console and I crammed in feet up in the passengers seat. Our driver lives in Pheonix, Az and works as a waitress in an Indian cafe. We listened to rap, rock, and sublime. The girl told us about how she forgot to roll any joints before she left but had some prescription caffeine pills she was going to take later to keep her awake during her long journey ahead. She drove us the rest of the way to RS where my mom was glad to see us and we got to shower, eat, and nap for a couple of hours before Luke and Bre came and we headed to Meeker, Co in Luke's car. In Meeker there was an elk steak dinner, drinking, and relaxing. The next morning (today) we hiked up to the sandstone cliffs, checked out the river and shot skeet with Luke's dad.
The easiest part of the trip should have been from Lander to Rock Springs, a mere two hour drive over the pass. So we finished drinking coffee and hot chocolate and started walking the highway out of Lander towards south pass. The time was about 9:30 am and the traffic was sparse, finally a truck pulled over and it was an older man with a cowboy hat. He works for a mushroom farm in Riverton and said he could only take us a couple of miles because he was heading for his late brothers hose that he was trying to sell. This man told stories of hitchhikers he had picked up and then dropped us off at the Rawlin's Junction.
We continued to walk away from there until a rather strange hick picked us up. He was drinking Bud while driving to his home at Atlantic City. The man was kind but strange. He works on building bridges outside of Worland. He dropped us off at the Atlantic City turnoff at the top of south pass.
From there we had to walk through wind and snow thumbing until finally a SS Monte Carlo pulled off. The driver was a rather eccentric bad ass 90's rocker type girl. She was returning from her parents house in Lander getting her car and some other stuff. The car was full of stuff so Laura sat above the center console and I crammed in feet up in the passengers seat. Our driver lives in Pheonix, Az and works as a waitress in an Indian cafe. We listened to rap, rock, and sublime. The girl told us about how she forgot to roll any joints before she left but had some prescription caffeine pills she was going to take later to keep her awake during her long journey ahead. She drove us the rest of the way to RS where my mom was glad to see us and we got to shower, eat, and nap for a couple of hours before Luke and Bre came and we headed to Meeker, Co in Luke's car. In Meeker there was an elk steak dinner, drinking, and relaxing. The next morning (today) we hiked up to the sandstone cliffs, checked out the river and shot skeet with Luke's dad.
Hitch Hiking/Spring Break 06 pt3
*Lara <- too retarded to write my name-
They dropped us off across fram a Wal-Mart in Riverton. There Doug was
disgusted by the fact that what he called "rat crap" was on his coffee
mug - from Metolius(the sugar glider) keeping warm in his pack- he
didn't get anything to drink. At Wal-Mart we took a short nap in the
shoe section - with ours removed for blisters - we were roused to
movement when we heard a manager being called to our area. We packed
up and headed to a gas station around 4:15. There we kept warm until
the restaraunt accross the street opened (5:00Am). We both ate biscuts
and gravey and attracted the attention of the other customers. I found
that Metolius likes dried mangos and attacks them with a fury. After
resting there and at a few other gas station we were on our
way. (7:30AM) We walked for about 20 minutes before we were picked up
by a woman returning from a night of work at the gas plant. Turns out
she had an associates degree and two teenage children. Upon reaching
Lander she asked us if we would like some coffee and not wanting to
refuse we said yes. She said she wasn't going in with us and offered
us a ride to Billings the following sunday and slapped a $20 bill in
Doug's hand - refusing to be dissuaded she would not take it back and
said she admired us. If we needed he to get back to she wanted to go
shopping in Billings.
- Laura
They dropped us off across fram a Wal-Mart in Riverton. There Doug was
disgusted by the fact that what he called "rat crap" was on his coffee
mug - from Metolius(the sugar glider) keeping warm in his pack- he
didn't get anything to drink. At Wal-Mart we took a short nap in the
shoe section - with ours removed for blisters - we were roused to
movement when we heard a manager being called to our area. We packed
up and headed to a gas station around 4:15. There we kept warm until
the restaraunt accross the street opened (5:00Am). We both ate biscuts
and gravey and attracted the attention of the other customers. I found
that Metolius likes dried mangos and attacks them with a fury. After
resting there and at a few other gas station we were on our
way. (7:30AM) We walked for about 20 minutes before we were picked up
by a woman returning from a night of work at the gas plant. Turns out
she had an associates degree and two teenage children. Upon reaching
Lander she asked us if we would like some coffee and not wanting to
refuse we said yes. She said she wasn't going in with us and offered
us a ride to Billings the following sunday and slapped a $20 bill in
Doug's hand - refusing to be dissuaded she would not take it back and
said she admired us. If we needed he to get back to she wanted to go
shopping in Billings.
- Laura
Hitch Hiking / Spring Break pt2
2006_03_04
8:25 AM
Currently in Lander, Wy and a lot has happened since yesterday, the truck that took us to Worland twas driven by a pastor on his way back from Billings with supplies to finish his basement. He had his "special" brother with him. They picked us up a little past Fort
Rockvale junction. When they first greeted us I was convinced they were the biggest hicks I have ever met, turns out that was not far from the truth. They were originally from Indiana and the pastor had owned some of the weirdest animals in existence including raising sugar
gliders and digus. He was a nice guy though and dropped us off at Arbys' in Worland. We had accidentally left Laura's phone in his truck so he brought it back and left his number in case we ended up needing a place to stay.
8:25 AM
Currently in Lander, Wy and a lot has happened since yesterday, the truck that took us to Worland twas driven by a pastor on his way back from Billings with supplies to finish his basement. He had his "special" brother with him. They picked us up a little past Fort
Rockvale junction. When they first greeted us I was convinced they were the biggest hicks I have ever met, turns out that was not far from the truth. They were originally from Indiana and the pastor had owned some of the weirdest animals in existence including raising sugar
gliders and digus. He was a nice guy though and dropped us off at Arbys' in Worland. We had accidentally left Laura's phone in his truck so he brought it back and left his number in case we ended up needing a place to stay.
After getting a bite to eat we walked across Worland and was just barely out of town when a car stopped for us. This guy was the weirdest yet. He had just dropped his son off at his ex's in
Lovel and was heading home to Thermopolis. He had joined the army out of college and worked in the force as a diesel mechanic and now he has a bad back which caused him to open his own concession/catering business. I'm not sure what exactly was so creepy about him except for maybe his strange voice. The scary part however, was when we got into Thermopolis he said he was going to get us some snacks from his stand and started driving through he fairgrounds between horse corrals and such at night. Kinda scary, I was hoping he really was a concession stand owner and was not taking us somewhere dark to murder us.
All turned out well however and we were soon on our way walking out of Thermop with pockets full of jerky and candy. We walked out of Thermop and continued walking right on passed a sight saying the next town was 32 mi away. I realized this meant going through the Wind River Canyon but was optimistic that we would find a ride. Traffic thinned out, the wind started blowing, and we kept walking. I had blisters on my feet by now definitely not used to so much walking on hard pavement.
We finally bed down for the night in a culvert out of the wind at approximately 11:30pm. This was a bad idea as the cold from the metal offset any gain we got from being out of the wind. All of the clothes from our bags came out and put on as an attempt to keep warm. When we left we thought that we would be able to make it in a day so we did not have sleeping bags or a tent. The closest thing to a blanket I had was an extra coat. We made an attempt to sleep until
about 1:30 am when the cold became unbearable so we packed up and started walking again.
This time a car saw us and turns around to come pick us up. These guys were working the the rigs in Wamsutter and were definitely a couple of characters, while making room for us the driver messed up the latch on his trunk and spent 15 min fixing it while his buddy merely asked if he should jump up and down on it and then went out to stare at the latch, merely watching as if he was helping in some way.We were soon on the road. Me being exhausted made an attempt to stay awake and make but ultimately failed and slipped into a deep sleep.
Hitchhiking/Spring Break 06
2006_03_03
From: Billings
To: Rock Springs (Hopefully)
3:00pm:
Laura and I left Rocky at about 12:15pm. Laura insisted that it was
cheating to ask a friend for a ride to the interstate. So we walked
all the way to the 27th street I90 exit, approximately 5 mi. We
"thumbed" at the exit for awhile. Not sure what to do and getting
impatient we started walking and made it as far as S.Billings Blv when
a man in a van stopped and said he could at least get us to the next
exit. The man was friendly and said he can't help but pick up hikers
because he has done some walking in his day. We were droppeod off at
the King Ave exit where we walked while thumbing again until a truck
stopped. The man in the truck was heading to Big Timber, he was an
industrial contruction worker. The job allows him to travel often and
see many things but is also the reason he and many of his fellow
workers have lost their families. The guy in the truck dropped us off in
Laurel our current location. We got some Subway here and let Laura's
sugar glider eat and stretch.
From: Billings
To: Rock Springs (Hopefully)
3:00pm:
Laura and I left Rocky at about 12:15pm. Laura insisted that it was
cheating to ask a friend for a ride to the interstate. So we walked
all the way to the 27th street I90 exit, approximately 5 mi. We
"thumbed" at the exit for awhile. Not sure what to do and getting
impatient we started walking and made it as far as S.Billings Blv when
a man in a van stopped and said he could at least get us to the next
exit. The man was friendly and said he can't help but pick up hikers
because he has done some walking in his day. We were droppeod off at
the King Ave exit where we walked while thumbing again until a truck
stopped. The man in the truck was heading to Big Timber, he was an
industrial contruction worker. The job allows him to travel often and
see many things but is also the reason he and many of his fellow
workers have lost their families. The guy in the truck dropped us off in
Laurel our current location. We got some Subway here and let Laura's
sugar glider eat and stretch.
*For anyone who does not know what a sugar glider is: A sugar glider
is a small mammal of the marsupial family. They look similar to a
flying squirrel. Durring this trip it lived in a cydrical cage made
out of green wire mesh with a chalk bag inside. This cage was strapped
to the outside of Laura's backpack most of the time.
5:30pm
Currently we are in a truck on its way to Worland. Before I tell you
that story I must mention the coolest ride we recieved so far. Just
outside of Laurel we were picked up by a truck pulling a big trailer
(a scrapping truck). This guy is a scrapper as in scrap metal, not a
fighter. He also runs a antique shop. I found out he was related to
the roomate of a good friend of mine(michelle).This guy got a degree
in photography and was a photographer in the Navy many years before
coming to Montana. One of the first things he did was hand us some
hand warmers and tell us to put them in our pockets. This guy had a
chance to work for National Geographic but turned it down as he had
heard too many stories and known too many people that got diseases or
ran into other disasters doing photography for National Geographic.
He was very impressed with Laura's sugar glider. He was headed toward
Red Lodge so he could only take us to the junction at Fort Rockvale
but he was the coolest old guy I've met. From the junction we walked
a ways and were picked up by a pastor heading to Worland.
*Laura's Observation:
All people that picked up hitchhikers warned us about people
that picked up hitchhikers. A Great Irony.
Travel
Traveling
Family
Friends
Wanderlust
New
Sights
Experiences
Events
Wyoming
Montana
Climbing
Utah
Skiing
Black Hills
Fun
Mmmm Home Brew
The beer is running low
but so is time and money
It's a good beer
Like a kick in the mouth at the first sip
and smooth, flavorful, and refreshing
throughout the rest of the glass
I have become very fond of this beer,
sharing and drinking whenever I get a chance
That is why the beer is running out.
The next beer will be even better.
A creation built upon the experience gained from this one
Relax
Don't Worry
Have a Home Brew.
but so is time and money
It's a good beer
Like a kick in the mouth at the first sip
and smooth, flavorful, and refreshing
throughout the rest of the glass
I have become very fond of this beer,
sharing and drinking whenever I get a chance
That is why the beer is running out.
The next beer will be even better.
A creation built upon the experience gained from this one
Relax
Don't Worry
Have a Home Brew.
Windy pt2
Frustrating
Chilling the bones
One never gets used to it
Noisy
Pulling at you
Making it hard to walk
It makes your want to scream
Chilling the bones
One never gets used to it
Noisy
Pulling at you
Making it hard to walk
It makes your want to scream
Wyoming Wind
Wind
Blowing everything clean
Cold
Flowing through invisible cracks
Unstoppable
Creating a draft in the house
It gets in your bones
Blowing everything clean
Cold
Flowing through invisible cracks
Unstoppable
Creating a draft in the house
It gets in your bones
Travel
My brother called me the other day. He was planning a trip to visit
me. Further discussing this trip he mentioned "our family travels so
much, I kind of miss it". This made me think of my travels, why I do
it and why I enjoy it so much.
As a family we traveled a lot. I always looked forward to these trips
because it meant I got to see extended family, go skiing or camping.
Best of all I would get to miss school for it.
We would go to Denver, "The Lake" in Nebraska, "The cabin" in
Pinedale, skiing in Steamboat, Jackson, or Pinedale, a small trip
boating the Flaming Gorge, camping and hiking Big Sandy Openings,
family and roller coasters in California , all the places in between.
Even though there was plenty of fighting and stress involved in some
of these trips, these are the moments when we were the happiest.
me. Further discussing this trip he mentioned "our family travels so
much, I kind of miss it". This made me think of my travels, why I do
it and why I enjoy it so much.
As a family we traveled a lot. I always looked forward to these trips
because it meant I got to see extended family, go skiing or camping.
Best of all I would get to miss school for it.
We would go to Denver, "The Lake" in Nebraska, "The cabin" in
Pinedale, skiing in Steamboat, Jackson, or Pinedale, a small trip
boating the Flaming Gorge, camping and hiking Big Sandy Openings,
family and roller coasters in California , all the places in between.
Even though there was plenty of fighting and stress involved in some
of these trips, these are the moments when we were the happiest.
Grandma
Grandma
So strong
Never cried
Not in the ambulance after a car wreck
Not even after breaking her ankle
In fact she told no one
not wanting to shift the focus
from her grandaughter's wedding to herself
She bragged about how strong
she was in her old age
How she could still see
and had her memory
She would drag a hose
through the dirt and rocks
to water the trees that she and
the rest of the family had planted
She walked the track
and did water aerobics
keeping friends close
distraught about the friend with alzhiemers
Grandma was one of the few this friend remembered
Death all around her
And her body begining to fail
At least I got to see her for christmas
Helped her getting gifts
Drove and talked to her
one last meal at McDonalds
as she got gifts
McDonalds money for every stocking
Almost got her to switch to the newer card version
Glad I decied not to
It was her time
She didn't want to, couldn't
Live in a hospital bed
Hooked up to machines
She lives on with the family
We are all stubborn like her
We are Strong, Independant, Loving
Six families, six legacies
All of them strong together
So strong
Never cried
Not in the ambulance after a car wreck
Not even after breaking her ankle
In fact she told no one
not wanting to shift the focus
from her grandaughter's wedding to herself
She bragged about how strong
she was in her old age
How she could still see
and had her memory
She would drag a hose
through the dirt and rocks
to water the trees that she and
the rest of the family had planted
She walked the track
and did water aerobics
keeping friends close
distraught about the friend with alzhiemers
Grandma was one of the few this friend remembered
Death all around her
And her body begining to fail
At least I got to see her for christmas
Helped her getting gifts
Drove and talked to her
one last meal at McDonalds
as she got gifts
McDonalds money for every stocking
Almost got her to switch to the newer card version
Glad I decied not to
It was her time
She didn't want to, couldn't
Live in a hospital bed
Hooked up to machines
She lives on with the family
We are all stubborn like her
We are Strong, Independant, Loving
Six families, six legacies
All of them strong together
What does it all mean?
There is always the question of what a person was thinking when working on a piece of art. That clashes with what the piece means to me. I get caught up wondering what the artist is trying to say. Even though the artist may only be trying to say “This is cool. What do you think it means?”.
The best I can do is a culmination of previous best I can do moments. Each best I can do moment is like a layer of sediment. It provides a foundation for the next big achievement. But this big achievement then overshadows our previous experience: it never seems like enough. The last achievement is not big enough to support this new one. But no matter how small the last best was it is a start on the next big one.
Pretty Women
Loud noises everywhere. The buzz of a crowd. Mostly, I hear nothing in particular, running around busing and setting tables, showing people to their seats and B-S-ing with the cooks. As I'm pouring water I hear, “The last three office managers had quite a figure.” The woman next to him scowls, “Why would you notice that?”. The gentleman sitting across from him smiles, “I don't know how you couldn't.”. With a quick grin I am caught. The other woman who hasn't said anything yet turns to me and says with a wink, “Look at this guy pouring water ,trying not to laugh and pretending not to listen.” I quickly reply with an even bigger smile “I don't know what you're talking about” and rush off.
Traveling, It's something that I love. Something I grew up with and can't stop doing. To be somewhere new. New sights, new people, new experiences. While growing up we were never in town for long. There were always trips as small as 20 min out of town to visit grandma to a plane trip to Canada to go white water rafting and enjoy the Canadian rockies. It produced a wanderlust in me.
Questions
Why do I wonder so much about things that no longer should matter?
Why does not knowing hurt me just as much as knowing everything?
Do I really want to know?
Is it possible for me to understand?
Why can't I just stop caring?
Why does not knowing hurt me just as much as knowing everything?
Do I really want to know?
Is it possible for me to understand?
Why can't I just stop caring?
My most recent trip was back home for my mom's birthday. It was great. I got two days of boating in. Skied and wakeboarded the first and just attempted to relax the second. Actually I kinda over thought some things grandma, a boat rope incident ( it got caught under the boat ), Laura, my brothers being better than me at pretty much everything, etc. So I went home early that day and regret it. It is always good to see family ( extended fam was there too). We went to my grandma's house and I got dishes, food and more. This felt really weird now that she's not there.
Uncertainty
There is nothing worse than not knowing where you stand and if things are broken if they can be fixed. I partially unwantingly purchased a overpriced round trip ticket to go see my now ex-girlfriend who I have kind of been fighting with for about three months on an issue that of course I am absolutely right on :). Anyway, I actually manage to get excited for this trip and leave with the intention of making things right and re-falling in love, if thats what it was, with her. As I get off the plane and see her that is what happens, I decide that this week is hers and I want things to be perfect. Well that night she is crying and telling me that she may want to “pretend” to be single for awhile to make sure I am the right person. Translation, She wants to see other people and we are over. Yet she insists we are still together and not to give up on her. So the rest of the week she refuses to be close to me much. I am to pretend to be a friend and not want to shower her with hugs and kisses etc. I see the other guy that she is gawking at and think that he is a complete asshole. Turns out he smokes and is the one who got her into drinking. I used to get in trouble from her for merely having a beer. And yet she says she loves me, hence the uncertainty. I should have known, looking at it now, but its too late. I spend a lot on her that week, financially and emotionally. I am still paying for it. All because I thought I could save it, thought that she was uncertain too. Uncertainty is the worst feeling. It is even worse than the feelings I'm having now that she is gone.
Beta to a Steep World v5
Crimp
Pull
Heel up
Mantel that
Two finger pocket
Pull through and throw to the finish
Pull
Heel up
Mantel that
Two finger pocket
Pull through and throw to the finish
Yoga Thoughts
Distracted
Trying to relax
Not following my thoughts
Can't help it
I feel all over the place
In trying to be me again
to relearn how to live
I charged in with too much fury
Got too busy to even think
Now in quiet moments my thoughts
flood in keeping me distracted.
I need to learn to slow down
Be in the moment, yet
process my thoughts more often
Before I go completely insane
Trying to relax
Not following my thoughts
Can't help it
I feel all over the place
In trying to be me again
to relearn how to live
I charged in with too much fury
Got too busy to even think
Now in quiet moments my thoughts
flood in keeping me distracted.
I need to learn to slow down
Be in the moment, yet
process my thoughts more often
Before I go completely insane
Two Hour Drive
One little word.
Who knew it could mean so many things?
It can mean frustration, relief, anger, love;
It can destroy a job, or make a career;
It's a verb, a noun, a adjective;
It frightens, it makes people laugh;
It's freedom, it's offensive;
It's political, it's used by both upper and lower classes, it's understood in any language;
Its the reason behind this two hour drive to Bozeman:
Fuck
Who knew it could mean so many things?
It can mean frustration, relief, anger, love;
It can destroy a job, or make a career;
It's a verb, a noun, a adjective;
It frightens, it makes people laugh;
It's freedom, it's offensive;
It's political, it's used by both upper and lower classes, it's understood in any language;
Its the reason behind this two hour drive to Bozeman:
Fuck
Rainy Days
Rain
Rain is a tease.
For some it is romantic,
making them want to dance in the rain.
For others it's depressing;
A wet cloudy day
only means they can't frolic in the sunshine.
The feeling I get, however, is anxious.
I enjoy the cooler weather that the rain brings
but if it were just a little colder.
I would have what I really want:
Snow
Rain is a tease.
For some it is romantic,
making them want to dance in the rain.
For others it's depressing;
A wet cloudy day
only means they can't frolic in the sunshine.
The feeling I get, however, is anxious.
I enjoy the cooler weather that the rain brings
but if it were just a little colder.
I would have what I really want:
Snow
Climbing
The struggle to move on rock
There is no reason
But is there reason in any exercise?
Why do runners run?
What could be more futile than
Running around in circles?
Climbing is more than exercise
Hands sweating
Climbing is an addiction
Muscles aching
Balance strength and perserverance
Pulling hard
Mind and body working together
Reacting
Focused solely on the next move
There is no reason
But is there reason in any exercise?
Why do runners run?
What could be more futile than
Running around in circles?
Climbing is more than exercise
Hands sweating
Climbing is an addiction
Muscles aching
Balance strength and perserverance
Pulling hard
Mind and body working together
Reacting
Focused solely on the next move
Casper Trip
2006_02_23-2006_02_24
Trip: Casper from Billings
Why: To watch my brothers compete in the Wyoming State Wrestling
tournament
Time of departure: 5:55pm
Estimated time of arrival: 11:00pm
Distance: 271mi
Time driving: 5 hrs
Car: Laura's 4Runner
Cost:
Gas:
Before leaving: 12.8 gal($2.14)=$27.58
@271mi: 15.8gal($2.05)=$36.40 approx 17mi/gal
@154.5 mi return trip: 8.38gal($2.10)=$17.60 approx 18mi/gal
Total cost:
$81.58
Total round trip distance:
550 mi
A mere four hour drive there and one night's free stay with my parents
in a hotel room made for a great trip. We started out leaving late
because of a meeting I had and some car oil problems. Then
approximately 3 hours later, 50 miles from Casper, the 4runner's gas
light fliped on. Being in Wyoming there was no gas station from where
we were until Casper, but Laura assured me her vehicle could make it
50 miles after the light came on. Outside the wind was howling. I
slowed down, coasted when I could, and drafted behind large trucks
trying to do all I could to maximize our gas mileage. About four miles
out of town the engine finally puttered out. Between running on fumes,
rolling down hills in nuetral, and some pushing we managed to get the
4runner about 40 yards from a gas station where borrowed a gas can to
revive the the poor gas starved car. As for the wrestling Ryan went
2-2 and robby went two and barbeque. Not the best results but they are
improving. After watching wrestling we drove back to Billings. The
return trip was no where near as exciting.
Trip: Casper from Billings
Why: To watch my brothers compete in the Wyoming State Wrestling
tournament
Time of departure: 5:55pm
Estimated time of arrival: 11:00pm
Distance: 271mi
Time driving: 5 hrs
Car: Laura's 4Runner
Cost:
Gas:
Before leaving: 12.8 gal($2.14)=$27.58
@271mi: 15.8gal($2.05)=$36.40 approx 17mi/gal
@154.5 mi return trip: 8.38gal($2.10)=$17.60 approx 18mi/gal
Total cost:
$81.58
Total round trip distance:
550 mi
A mere four hour drive there and one night's free stay with my parents
in a hotel room made for a great trip. We started out leaving late
because of a meeting I had and some car oil problems. Then
approximately 3 hours later, 50 miles from Casper, the 4runner's gas
light fliped on. Being in Wyoming there was no gas station from where
we were until Casper, but Laura assured me her vehicle could make it
50 miles after the light came on. Outside the wind was howling. I
slowed down, coasted when I could, and drafted behind large trucks
trying to do all I could to maximize our gas mileage. About four miles
out of town the engine finally puttered out. Between running on fumes,
rolling down hills in nuetral, and some pushing we managed to get the
4runner about 40 yards from a gas station where borrowed a gas can to
revive the the poor gas starved car. As for the wrestling Ryan went
2-2 and robby went two and barbeque. Not the best results but they are
improving. After watching wrestling we drove back to Billings. The
return trip was no where near as exciting.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
The Perfect Weekend
I get away from school at about noon on Friday to start my drive to the perfect three day weekend. It does not matter who is going with me because the final destination is home. All I need is my car, climbing gear, and a weekends worth of clothes. Driving can be relaxing sometimes and this drive is only 7 hours. Billings to Laurel then south to Cody, sometimes in silence, sometimes with the radio blasting, my dog napping next to me. The country starts to open up and become more mountainous all at the same time. While some think this is ugly, it is home to me: wide open spaces with distant mountain nestling me in. The temptation to stop in Cody for a quick climbing session on ridiculously hard sandstone boulder problems is battling my want to make it home. I decide to continue south to Thermopolis, home of the hot springs. The land gets even more beautiful. Keep driving. This part of the drive is fun and exciting, I am speeding through the Wind River Canyon pretending I'm a race car driver and gawking at the rock faces all around me that are making my hands sweat just thinking about climbing them. Make it to Shoshone where I do have to stop. Mmm, World Famous Malts. I only have about 3.5 hours ahead of me. Next stop is Lander where I will be on Monday. Today, however, I am just passing through. Cell phone service drops off as I start up South Pass. This pass freaks me out a bit as there have been many accidents up here including the one that took the life of a mentor of mine from High School. Driving at decent speeds I finally make it home.
Good old Rock Springs. There are hugs all around and I get updated on what everyone is up to. This isn't merely my immediate family, extended family is there as well. Cousins that I grew up with, my crazy and very fun aunts. The uncle that knows everything. Everyone is here and everyone wants to know the latest happenings. We talk and laugh and make fun until it is very late. The next morning is an early one.
My brothers and I get up and prepare the boat while my mother and my aunts make breakfast and pack lunch. Ryan, the brother right under me, has a whole system down now for getting the boat ready, He always has been the responsible one. Since extended family is here we have two boats at our disposal and both are now packed and ready to go. It takes only thirty minutes to get to the Flaming Gorge where we boat. I nap most of the way there. Even on a Saturday only has three other boat trailers stand in the parking lot. We get everyone aboard and launch.
The air is just starting to warm up and the water is perfect glass. We throw in a cd and blast it to get pumped and Robby, the third son in my family, is the first in the water. He has gotten good at slalom skiing. The camera gets brought out and I go trigger happy with it getting all the amazing shots of him cutting the most beautiful turns on this perfect water with antelope and a big spire of rock behind him. Then he decides its time to goof around and manages to balance on one foot and use the other to hold the rope. Soon he gets tired and decides his turn is over.
I can't contain myself anymore and jump in next. It is slalom for me as well. Its been awhile but the thrill of making those super fast cuts and just trying to hold on is still there. I go at it hard and fast, no goofing off like Robby, it's all about the super fast cuts. My heart is pumping, my legs and arms are tired, nothing is better. I finally eat it pretty hard, managing to tumble a ways losing the ski, knock the breath out of me, but I come out of the water smiling.
Ryan is next; he is our wakeboarding expert. The camera is in my hands again as I try to catch shots of him flying though the air, attempting new tricks. This kid is amazing! He is getting about as high as the top of the rope tower and is currently working on his 360. There is not much else to say, he is good at adding his own little bit of style as he boards, whether he is on the water or flying above it.
The rest of the day is more of the same. My cousins get in and try out both slalom and wakeboarding and are getting pretty good. My dad gets in on the wakeboard and manages to pull off some tricks of his own while hooting and hollering. At one point the other boat follows to watch and take pictures. Most of the older people are in that boat, fishing and relaxing in the sun.
For lunch we tie the boats together and enjoy the company and the atmosphere. Where else can you boat in rugged country with cows, and antelope on the shore? There is even a tumbleweed in the water! Best of all we get to do it all again tomorrow.
The next day is just as awesome as the first with just as much cheering, jeering, laughing and crazy water skills as the first. Then I am off again. We say our goodbyes, this can be quite the process. Again hugs all around, thats 15 or so people with at least two hugs each for my mom and dad. I am loaded up with food and double check that I didn't forget everything, then I start my drive to Lander. Once more over the pass and I am meet some good friends for some of the best climbing the country knows.
The walls are granite and full of super amazing pockets. Each climb brings its own challenge and reward. The friends jokingly make fun and push each other and me on. Today I am climbing the best I ever have. My jitters go away and I lead with confidence pushing the fear of falling out of my mind. My friends all seem to be climbing at their best as well. Its amazing how when one of us is doing well it inspires the rest to climb stronger. They make this look easy, putting down climbs with ease and grace that I only get up two holds, can't pull anymore and take a fall. Eventually I have to say goodbye and start my voyage back. What a great weekend.
Good old Rock Springs. There are hugs all around and I get updated on what everyone is up to. This isn't merely my immediate family, extended family is there as well. Cousins that I grew up with, my crazy and very fun aunts. The uncle that knows everything. Everyone is here and everyone wants to know the latest happenings. We talk and laugh and make fun until it is very late. The next morning is an early one.
My brothers and I get up and prepare the boat while my mother and my aunts make breakfast and pack lunch. Ryan, the brother right under me, has a whole system down now for getting the boat ready, He always has been the responsible one. Since extended family is here we have two boats at our disposal and both are now packed and ready to go. It takes only thirty minutes to get to the Flaming Gorge where we boat. I nap most of the way there. Even on a Saturday only has three other boat trailers stand in the parking lot. We get everyone aboard and launch.
The air is just starting to warm up and the water is perfect glass. We throw in a cd and blast it to get pumped and Robby, the third son in my family, is the first in the water. He has gotten good at slalom skiing. The camera gets brought out and I go trigger happy with it getting all the amazing shots of him cutting the most beautiful turns on this perfect water with antelope and a big spire of rock behind him. Then he decides its time to goof around and manages to balance on one foot and use the other to hold the rope. Soon he gets tired and decides his turn is over.
I can't contain myself anymore and jump in next. It is slalom for me as well. Its been awhile but the thrill of making those super fast cuts and just trying to hold on is still there. I go at it hard and fast, no goofing off like Robby, it's all about the super fast cuts. My heart is pumping, my legs and arms are tired, nothing is better. I finally eat it pretty hard, managing to tumble a ways losing the ski, knock the breath out of me, but I come out of the water smiling.
Ryan is next; he is our wakeboarding expert. The camera is in my hands again as I try to catch shots of him flying though the air, attempting new tricks. This kid is amazing! He is getting about as high as the top of the rope tower and is currently working on his 360. There is not much else to say, he is good at adding his own little bit of style as he boards, whether he is on the water or flying above it.
The rest of the day is more of the same. My cousins get in and try out both slalom and wakeboarding and are getting pretty good. My dad gets in on the wakeboard and manages to pull off some tricks of his own while hooting and hollering. At one point the other boat follows to watch and take pictures. Most of the older people are in that boat, fishing and relaxing in the sun.
For lunch we tie the boats together and enjoy the company and the atmosphere. Where else can you boat in rugged country with cows, and antelope on the shore? There is even a tumbleweed in the water! Best of all we get to do it all again tomorrow.
The next day is just as awesome as the first with just as much cheering, jeering, laughing and crazy water skills as the first. Then I am off again. We say our goodbyes, this can be quite the process. Again hugs all around, thats 15 or so people with at least two hugs each for my mom and dad. I am loaded up with food and double check that I didn't forget everything, then I start my drive to Lander. Once more over the pass and I am meet some good friends for some of the best climbing the country knows.
The walls are granite and full of super amazing pockets. Each climb brings its own challenge and reward. The friends jokingly make fun and push each other and me on. Today I am climbing the best I ever have. My jitters go away and I lead with confidence pushing the fear of falling out of my mind. My friends all seem to be climbing at their best as well. Its amazing how when one of us is doing well it inspires the rest to climb stronger. They make this look easy, putting down climbs with ease and grace that I only get up two holds, can't pull anymore and take a fall. Eventually I have to say goodbye and start my voyage back. What a great weekend.
Picking this blog back up
I'm going to start regularly posting back to this blog (hopefully).
To start it off following this will be my portfolio from this
semesters imaginative writing class.
To start it off following this will be my portfolio from this
semesters imaginative writing class.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Being Home
Well here I am lying here sleepless again at 2:00AM. I am still trying to get a hang of this whole blog thing. It would be nice to put some actual effort into some of these and make some topic centered post. Instead I am going to kind of brainshit them out and then see what color they are later. I suppose this post is going to have a bit of a topic, being at home.
I've been here in RS for a week and a few days now and it is starting to drive me a bit crazy. I like coming home and seeing family, but my lifestyle has changed a bit and it is hard for me to get motivated to do anything here. I came thinking I have all this time w/o the distraction of crazy roommates or of my beautiful girlfriend and will be able to get allot of things done that I have been pushing off. The distractions of the crazy roommates and of the girlfriend will have to be a later post. I was going to earn some money ( I am starting to build horrible debt ), get organized( always a challenge ) , fix my car ( turns out to be not really possible), work on the rocky site ( for some reason my motivation is low ) , and prepare for the next semester of school ( this one was not very good and I do not want to go through that again ). Now I have done a little of all of these things, but there is just not enough time, and/or motivation.
I guess I don't really know where I am going with all of this except to like I said brain shit everywhere. Today for instance I got in some cleaning and actually got some of my stuff organized, this felt good having been her for a week and finally getting this at least partially done. Family gets here later umm today, it is past midnight , so the cleaning/organizing I did was focused at getting my stuff out of the way being that I don't have a room here and am living downstairs on the couch. I have not yet however gotten rid of any of my things, that by the way was part of what I had wanted to do with organizing. I want to get rid of some of my stuff because it is becoming a hassle to manage and I want to have a small footprint when I have to move out of my dorm room this summer. I am a horrible messy person for some reason and it is getting annoying. This is a strange thing because my Dad and one of my brothers is very very organized and clean. Ok that may be a bit of an overstatement but they are way better of than me. Which brings me to the much bigger issue of which I was sure I was going to get to eventually in this ever growing post.
Going home is intimidating because I always feel inferior to my Father and my brothers. I am the first born son and as such naturally feel that I should be at least a little better than my brothers. They are all so good at their passions. Whatever they do the do right. Now because I have at least a little self respect and because my Dad did the best he can, I think that I have a little of that in me too, but it seems to show so much more in my brothers.
I am going to refer to my brothers by number because I'm not sure putting there names out here is the best thing to do. My brother just under me (#2) is amazing. He is popular and fairly annoying because of it. However this hasn't made him into one of those uneducated jockish assholes. Sure he acts it sometimes but when you look at the things he is doing you realize it just isn't so. Here is some background my Dad all our lives has had projects for my brothers and I to do. I started with my grandmothers house and our own, where we would work inside and out doing chores and improving on the properties and vehicles. We have cut and hauled wood, done many repairs on cars and trucks, moved gravel, roofed houses, built decks, put up drywall, put gates in fences, planted trees and much much more. Well you see for me this stuff always seem like chores and awfully hard work. Not to say that I am not glad for the experience and was not proud of the work we had done, it just never interested me that much. My brother however #2 really got into it. He wants to go into construction management and is a damn hard worker. The projects I was talking about grew from being merely the house and grandma's house and became my Dad's office and then rental houses. It became this thing that entranced my brother and now he refers to the current project house as his and also calls most of the tools his. As part of my wanting to earn some money and because I like to help with our projects have helped a bit with this house and instead of my Dad telling me what need to happen my brother is running around being the foreman and managing how everything in this house goes together. It really is amazing to watch. He does a bit of everything leaving the most mundane to the rest of us. This is to prepare him for his profession. He is a high school senior. I envy the chances that he has created for himself. At the moment he is taking calculus, a construction class where he pretty much runs the show, college level English classes and physics. All of this just amazes me and to be honest his drive inspires me. I am very jealous of his opportunities. He does however, being my brother, really tick me off sometimes. I feel he gets way to cocky and being popular feels that he has to act certain ways. Me and him really clash when I am home for more than a weekend. I feel like a failure compared with him.
Anyway it is now three and I am starting to feel the time. Later today if I find the time and inspiration I may talk about my other 2 brothers, one of which just created a myspace music page and let me tell you it sounds unbelievable. The kid is really getting good. His love for music is unquenchable and his skill is hard to believe for a kid only the age of 16.
I've been here in RS for a week and a few days now and it is starting to drive me a bit crazy. I like coming home and seeing family, but my lifestyle has changed a bit and it is hard for me to get motivated to do anything here. I came thinking I have all this time w/o the distraction of crazy roommates or of my beautiful girlfriend and will be able to get allot of things done that I have been pushing off. The distractions of the crazy roommates and of the girlfriend will have to be a later post. I was going to earn some money ( I am starting to build horrible debt ), get organized( always a challenge ) , fix my car ( turns out to be not really possible), work on the rocky site ( for some reason my motivation is low ) , and prepare for the next semester of school ( this one was not very good and I do not want to go through that again ). Now I have done a little of all of these things, but there is just not enough time, and/or motivation.
I guess I don't really know where I am going with all of this except to like I said brain shit everywhere. Today for instance I got in some cleaning and actually got some of my stuff organized, this felt good having been her for a week and finally getting this at least partially done. Family gets here later umm today, it is past midnight , so the cleaning/organizing I did was focused at getting my stuff out of the way being that I don't have a room here and am living downstairs on the couch. I have not yet however gotten rid of any of my things, that by the way was part of what I had wanted to do with organizing. I want to get rid of some of my stuff because it is becoming a hassle to manage and I want to have a small footprint when I have to move out of my dorm room this summer. I am a horrible messy person for some reason and it is getting annoying. This is a strange thing because my Dad and one of my brothers is very very organized and clean. Ok that may be a bit of an overstatement but they are way better of than me. Which brings me to the much bigger issue of which I was sure I was going to get to eventually in this ever growing post.
Going home is intimidating because I always feel inferior to my Father and my brothers. I am the first born son and as such naturally feel that I should be at least a little better than my brothers. They are all so good at their passions. Whatever they do the do right. Now because I have at least a little self respect and because my Dad did the best he can, I think that I have a little of that in me too, but it seems to show so much more in my brothers.
I am going to refer to my brothers by number because I'm not sure putting there names out here is the best thing to do. My brother just under me (#2) is amazing. He is popular and fairly annoying because of it. However this hasn't made him into one of those uneducated jockish assholes. Sure he acts it sometimes but when you look at the things he is doing you realize it just isn't so. Here is some background my Dad all our lives has had projects for my brothers and I to do. I started with my grandmothers house and our own, where we would work inside and out doing chores and improving on the properties and vehicles. We have cut and hauled wood, done many repairs on cars and trucks, moved gravel, roofed houses, built decks, put up drywall, put gates in fences, planted trees and much much more. Well you see for me this stuff always seem like chores and awfully hard work. Not to say that I am not glad for the experience and was not proud of the work we had done, it just never interested me that much. My brother however #2 really got into it. He wants to go into construction management and is a damn hard worker. The projects I was talking about grew from being merely the house and grandma's house and became my Dad's office and then rental houses. It became this thing that entranced my brother and now he refers to the current project house as his and also calls most of the tools his. As part of my wanting to earn some money and because I like to help with our projects have helped a bit with this house and instead of my Dad telling me what need to happen my brother is running around being the foreman and managing how everything in this house goes together. It really is amazing to watch. He does a bit of everything leaving the most mundane to the rest of us. This is to prepare him for his profession. He is a high school senior. I envy the chances that he has created for himself. At the moment he is taking calculus, a construction class where he pretty much runs the show, college level English classes and physics. All of this just amazes me and to be honest his drive inspires me. I am very jealous of his opportunities. He does however, being my brother, really tick me off sometimes. I feel he gets way to cocky and being popular feels that he has to act certain ways. Me and him really clash when I am home for more than a weekend. I feel like a failure compared with him.
Anyway it is now three and I am starting to feel the time. Later today if I find the time and inspiration I may talk about my other 2 brothers, one of which just created a myspace music page and let me tell you it sounds unbelievable. The kid is really getting good. His love for music is unquenchable and his skill is hard to believe for a kid only the age of 16.
Friday, December 22, 2006
First Post
It is nearly 1:00AM and I cannot sleep. This is a problem I frequently have and I think it may be related to messing around with the computer. Anyway this is the first post of yet another blog. Maybe this time I will actually do some writing in it. The blog should be truly random organized only by tags. I will talk about my travels, computer science, tech, life, school, everything. Hopefully this will be a good place to dump my thoughts however few. Maybe something good will come of it. Anyway I am either going to start working on a post with some specifics to it or I am going to go to sleep.
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